


#4: The Edge

by Winchester_Writer



Series: 10 Times Tony Stark Saved Peter Parker and 2 Times He Couldn't [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Mentions of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 19:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester_Writer/pseuds/Winchester_Writer
Summary: Hi everyone! This one is a little darker. Peter has fallen into a dark place and is turning to bad habits to cope with it. Tony and an unexpected friend help Peter out.





	#4: The Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of self-harm. If this is triggering to you, please do not read! Also, know you are not alone in this. At the end of this series I'll post a "story" with links to websites and phone numbers that can help. Stay alive, my friends.

Peter was slipping and he was slipping fast. The panic attacks had become more frequent, the anxiety was with him constantly, and the depression was even worse. Mr. Stark hadn’t noticed it this time and he was perfectly okay with that. He was careful when he was around Mr. Stark, trying not to talk about anything that could send him into a panic or anxiety attack. He would get through school and lab days with a smile, then breakdown as soon as he got home. 

Peter didn't know why exactly he was depressed. To be honest, he thought it was because of him being Spiderman. He was tired of having to be the hero, he kept looking up at the sky and asking why it was on him to save everyone. Peter wanted to be a normal teen. He wanted to ask out MJ, build a new Lego set with Ned, get an A in chemistry, and live normally. 

He was tired of this superhero life. Peter hated that people were relying on him to save their lives. That anytime someone was in trouble he had to save them, but there was no one to save him when he was in trouble. 

Peter got to a dark place, a place that was really bad. He was surrounded in darkness all the time and he just wanted it to go away. When it first came on, he went to school in a long sleeve shirt, 5 thin cuts lining each wrist. The cuts healed quickly due to the spider-bite, but there were small white lines on his wrists. The cuts were the only thing that kept Peter sane, that could draw him out of the darkness for just a little bit. 

He was wearing his school sweater everyday, covering his wrists and lines. He was glad that his spider-suit covered his arms, because if people knew that Spiderman struggled with self-harm, then he wouldn't be a hero anymore. A hero doesn't struggle with these things, he thought.

Peter was sitting at his desk in the apartment, staring into the wall as if it was the most interesting thing in the entire world. In reality, Peter was succumbing to the darkness in his head. 

"Mister Stark is going to hate you," he thought. 

"Once he sees what you've done to yourself, how weak you are. You're Spiderman, you shouldn't be this weak. How can you save others if you can't even save yourself?" 

The thoughts continued and Peter ruffled around in his drawers for something. 30 minutes later he was washing off blood, 10 little lines dotting each wrist. There were white lines all over his wrists and arms, they were visible through the brand new red lines. 

It was a Friday morning, school wasn't in today as it was a three day weekend. Mr. Stark expected Peter at the lab at the normal time. 

Peter got up and threw on his sweater, then grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He was going to be 2 hours early, but that was okay. He walked to Stark Tower and slid his I.D. card into the lock. He rode the elevator up to Tony's level and walked in. Peter walked past the lab, he had no interest in being there right now. Instead, he opted to go into the lounge and sit on the couch. The thoughts were ringing in his head now. He sat down and let them overtake him. 

His blades were at home, he had nothing to use to escape the darkness. Peter clawed at his wrists and arms, scratching at the cuts, and pain shot through them. He sat there, clawing at his skin for a long while. Footsteps reached his ears and he looked up, startled by the person who was walking towards him. He thought it would be Mr. Stark, but it wasn't. Instead, none other than Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff was standing in front of him. He immediately cowered down and stopped clawing at his arms. 

"Are you alright?" Natasha asked him. 

He swallowed around the lump in his throat and then choked out a, "yes." Natasha looked at him, like she knew that he was lying. 

Natasha Romanoff had seen a lot of things in her life. She had seen people get shot, stabbed, killed, tortured, or worse, right in front of her. She had been trained to be immune to practically every sight, but no amount of training could prepare her for the sight she saw when she walked into the lounge of Stark Tower. Sitting on the couch was a teenager, he was sitting with his legs folded under him, furiously clawing at his arms, and his head down, mousy brown hair flying wildly in his face. Upon closer inspection, Natasha realized that his arms were bleeding and she easily put together the pieces of this puzzle. 

The kid was self-harming, that much was clear. Natasha's motherly instincts kicked in and she asked if he was okay. He answered with a yes, a pitiful attempt to lie and prove that he was fine. Natasha jumped into action. She walked towards him and sat down on the coffee table, so she was sitting directly in front of him. 

"Hi, kid, my name's Natasha Romanoff." 

"Hi Miss Romanoff." 

She liked this kid already. 

"Just Natasha is fine. What's your name?" 

"Peter," 

She looked at him expectantly. 

"Parker." 

The name rang a bell and then she realized who she was talking to. So this was the famous Spiderman that Tony wouldn't shut up about. She never expected him to be this young. 

"What are you doing here, Peter?" 

"Waiting for Mister Stark. It's a lab day." 

"Gotcha. Well, Tony is in a meeting and won't be out for a little while." 

"Oh, okay." 

"So why are you here so early?" 

Peter freaked out internally, wondering if it was bad that he got here two hours early. He started to scratch at his arms and rambling out an answer. 

"Well, it's not a school day and I was home and decided to come. I'm sorry." 

Natasha noticed him scratching at his wrists and the blood that was pooling. She gently reached out and moved his hands away from his arms. 

"None of that now, little spider." 

"How?" 

"Tony has told me a lot about you. Don't worry Peter, you're secret is safe." 

"Thank you, Miss Ro- Natasha." 

"You're welcome. Let's get you cleaned up, huh?"

Natasha stood up still holding Peter's hands and gently lifted him up until he was standing. She led him over to the kitchen sink. 

"Can you roll up your sleeves for me?" 

Peter furiously shook his head "no." 

"It's alright, little spider. Nothing to be ashamed of. I have scars too. I want to clean you up though so that nothing gets infected. Please roll up your sleeves for me." 

Peter slowly rolled up his sleeves, revealing his scarred arms and fresh lines. Natasha turned on the water and let it get warm. She put some soap on a cloth and gently washed off his arms, careful to not irritate anything. She then dried off his arms and then had Peter go and sit at the table. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed a med kit. She looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. This was taking it out of her. She was normally so strong, but this was breaking her heart. 

"Pull yourself together, Romanoff. Your little spider needs help." 

Natasha walked out of the bathroom and sat down next to Peter. She got out some cloth and bandaged up his arms. 

"There you go, my little spider, all taken care of." 

"Thank you, Miss Natasha." 

"You're welcome, kid. Why don't you go and sit on the couch and I'll get some lunch going?" 

He nodded and stood up, walking over to the couch. Natasha alerted Karen and told her to get Tony down here now, his kid needed him. Natasha got some lunch going, heating up some chicken noodle soup and throwing some freezer cookies into the oven. 15 minutes later everything was ready and she brought the plate of cookies, plus two bowls of soup over to the couch and set them on the coffee table. Peter reached for the cookies and she gently swatted his hand. 

"Soup first, little spider." 

The two sat in silence and sipped soup. Peter finished and put his bowl on the table. 

"May I have a cookie now?" 

"Yes, you can." 

Natasha smiled at him. 

"How about a movie, little spider?" 

"Yes please." 

Natasha turned on one of the Star Wars and the two watched on in silence. Tony walked in half an hour later and smiled at the sight before him. Natasha was sitting on the couch and Peter was curled up next to her, while watching a movie. Peter's head perked up. 

"Hi, Mr. Stark." 

"Hey Underoos. What's going on?" 

Peter looked down and Natasha gently nudged him. 

"It's alright, little spider, you can tell him." 

Peter took a couple of deep breaths before he spoke. 

"I got here earlier and was having kind of a panic attack. Miss Natasha found me." 

"Peter," Natasha prompted. 

"And she cleaned me up." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

Peter didn't answer, instead he just rolled up his sleeves and showed him the bandages. It took Tony a few minutes, but he finally put two and two together. 

Tony's heart sank. Natasha told him that his kid needed him, but he didn't realize how bad it was. The bandages had blood on them and Tony could see the scars littering Peter's arms. His kid was self-harming, Peter Parker the most kind and nice person on the planet, who wouldn't hurt a fly, was hurting himself. Tony's mind blanked, he didn't know how to handle this. Tears sprang to his eyes before he even realized what was happening. 

"Mr. Stark? Are you okay? You're crying." 

Tony wiped at the tears and then grabbed Peter, pulling him off the couch and into a hug. 

"I can't lose you, Pete. I can't." 

"Lose me, Mr. Stark? Why would you lose me?" 

"Peter, that's so dangerous. You could hit a vein, you could bleed out, get an infection. I can't let that happen." 

Peter was crying now too and Natasha decided it was time for her to leave. She stood up and started walking out. 

"Thank you, Miss Natasha," Peter choked out. 

"Of course, my little spider. If you ever want me, you know how to contact me." 

Peter nodded and then Tony made a mental note to thank her later. 

"Sit down, Pete, please." 

Peter sat back down on the couch and Tony sat on the coffee table in front of him, just like Natasha had done. 

"What's going on, kid?" 

"Nothing, Mr. Stark." 

"That's not nothing, Peter." 

"You wouldn't understand!" Peter spat out. 

Tony knew that Peter wasn't meaning to talk back or get angry. He was scared and uncomfortable and probably thought that he was gonna cut Peter loose. Tony didn't take it personal. 

"Pete, I don't know what's happening in your head. But I do know that you're hurting and I can help. No matter what has happened you can tell me and I won't think any less of you and I won't care for you any less." 

"Really, Mr. Stark?" 

"Really, Underoos. Will you talk to me please?" 

"Why do we have to be the heroes, Mr. Stark?" 

The question hit Tony off-guard. He was ready for pretty much anything, drugs, alcohol, losing a friend, but he wasn't ready for that question. Luckily, Peter kept talking. 

"I mean, I know we are superheroes. But why do we have to save everyone? Why do we have to risk our lives and get hurt and kicked and punched and stabbed and shot, just to save someone we don't know? Why do we have to be so strong all the time? I just, I just, I want to be weak sometimes." 

The last sentence came out in a hushed whisper. So low that Tony barely heard what he was saying. Tony took a deep breath and pondered everything that he was saying. Peter was taking too much on, he was just a kid, yet people were counting on him to be their hero. To save their lives, to be the one who takes care of everyone else's problems. Peter was carrying the weight of so many things and it was breaking him. Tony felt his heart break as he realized all of this. 

"Oh Pete, I'm so sorry. You're just a kid and you're right, you shouldn't have to be a hero." 

Peter looked up at Tony, tears streaming down his cheeks, a confused look on his face. 

"What?" 

"Pete, you're a kid. You're 15 and way too young to carry everything that you are. You don't have to save anyone, that's not on you. I'm sorry I dragged you into this life. I'm sorry I called you in for Germany. I should have thought about what I was doing before I did it. That was wrong of me. But I need you to listen to me, okay kid?" 

"Okay." 

"You are allowed to be weak, always. If you are struggling, if you need help, that's perfectly okay. No one will ever look at you differently for needing help, and if they do, I'll kick their butts." 

Peter chuckled a little at that, the tears still streaming. 

"What I'm saying is that you don't deserve this. You don't need to carry all of this, especially not alone. Pete, I love you, okay? I love you like you're my own kid and I always will. That means that you can come to me anytime with anything. Fear, anxiety, anger, girl problems" he winked, "anything. Just, I need you to promise me something, okay?" 

Peter nodded at him to go on.

"No more hurting yourself. Whatever this is, we can get through it together. You don't need to hurt and if you feel like you do, I want you to tell me. Can you do that?" 

"I can try." 

"Good job, kid. I love you, Pete, don't ever forget that." 

Peter nodded and then Tony stood up and turned around, sitting down on the couch next to Peter. As soon as he did, Peter scooted closer to him and rested his head against Tony. 

Tony lifted up his arm and stroked his fingers through Peter's hair. Pete cried for a while longer and then slowly fell asleep. 

"Goodnight, Underoos," Tony smiled down at him. 

"Night dad, love you," Peter mumbled out, sleepily. 

Tony's mouth fell open, but before he had a chance to ask Peter if he meant that, he heard light snoring. 

"Karen," Tony whispered out, "did he just call me dad?" 

"Peter did say, 'dad,' Sir. Would you like me to play the video for you" 

"Yes please." 

Karen played the video and Tony smiled when he heard the kid say dad. 

"I love you too, Pete," Tony whispered out. 

He sat there, still running his fingers through Pete's hair, making sure he slept soundly. 

"I'll save you, Pete, I promise. I can't lose you." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is my first ever fanfic so all feedback is really, really appreciated!!


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